Surviving Summer Break as a Parent with Chronic Fatigue, 12 Easy Tips
It can seem like a nearly impossible task to balance having your kids home during summer break and managing chronic illness, ME/CFS, or Long Covid.
It's much easier to rest and pace while the kids are at school, but now they're home and want to be entertained.
I bet you feel terribly guilty for everything you feel like your kids are missing out on. But it is possible to turn crappy days into something your kids look forward to.
As a former Children's Library Program Director and mum with ME/CFS, here are my tips I used when my kids were younger that helped turn crashes into special childhood memories.
These are appropriate for parents with chronic illness, Long Covid and mild to moderate ME/CFS and for days that you need to rest and pace or are dealing with mild to moderate post exertional malaise.
First, our number one purpose as a parent is to keep our children alive and safe.
Make sure your home is beyond childproof and completely safe. They can't get out of the house or get into anything that can hurt them if you fall asleep.
Plan for crashes and rest periods before they happen.
1) Make a Crash Kit
A crash kit is a special bin that only comes out on bad days or rest time. Keep special blankets, activities for the kids, and special snacks. Again only use items in the kit when you need more rest, so it keeps these things novel for your kids (here’s a small example of one stashed in my home).
2) Creating a Magical Environment
To make a magical space, we would create pillow forts or throw foamies on the floor with a bunch of blankets and a ton of pillows. Think about using a combination of very tactile fabrics, supper soft and furry or silky and invite a couple of favourite stuffies to join. Throw on some fairy lights to make it extraordinary.
For ages baby- 4 years old, we bought two dog pens (the kind with only sides, not top or bottom on it) and put them together to make a giant octagon fence they could not escape from. We used this inside the house and in the yard. I could lay down inside with them and know they were safe if I fell asleep (just make sure you're in the shade outside and no chocking hazards in the pen). I would secure a blanket over the top to make a fort and add many pillows.
Make them a nest. Ages 4-7, I would lay on the couch and make a "nest" for my kids behind my knees. If they moved, I would wake up. We also would do big spoon/ little spoon and nap together. Or let them pile into your bed for the day.
3) Activities
Ok, so you may not like this, but this is what worked for me…
Movie or TV Marathons
Now you may hate the idea of your child spending hours in front of the tv, but when you're on your own during a crash or must stop and rest to pace, you and your family are in survival mode.
So how can you make this fun and more than having the tv become a babysitter?
Make it a challenge.
Pick a series and only watch it during crash or rest time.
Download an episode checklist or create a map where you move along each show or episode to get to the finish line.
Find a unique way or order to watch it, i.e. Star Wars Machete order or MCU chronological order.
Introduce shows that you loved as a kid or find something they are really interested in to share with you.
Google discussion questions about the show or ask your child how they can relate to it and make connections to their life. This will get them to think deeper about what's happening.
My Watch List
Avatar the Last Airbender (seriously, we have watched the whole series 5 times, and it just gets better)
The Legend of Korra
The Naria Series
Lord of the Rings Series
Marvel Cinematic Universe ( in chronological order, click here for the link, which includes the latest tv shows)
Star Wars (The Machete order)
Star Trek ( by star date, we skipped the original series because the kids found it too old-fashioned)
Crash tip: we turned off the lights, and I wore a cap and sunglasses to help with tv glare. If I fell asleep, the kids liked to give me a recap of what I missed.
Crafts (watching tv all day can get boring, include things the kids can work on in your crash kit). I only put one activity in the kit, so the mess doesn't become too big, and after the project is done, a new one can be traded out.
Colouring books, markers, pencil crayons & crayons
Sticker books
Scratch Art
Paint by diamond
Hook Rugs
Online Programs
If you plan to rest at the same time every day, try an online program for school-age kids. It could be their own online summer camp program where they sit at the computer and learn a new skill while you rest. Look for activities your child is passionate about learning.
Science
Art/Crafts
Computer Programming
Online Summer Reading Programs
There are endless options in a variety of price ranges. Google what Online Summer Camps major universities, art galleries, and libraries offer. Your child could have an experience that you would have never thought of if you didn't have to think outside the box to accommodate your fatigue.
4) Food
Again our goal is to keep your kids alive. Don't feel guilty that it's not an all-organic 3-course meal day.
Plan ahead, and have quick and easy items the kids love and have on hand. My kids love microwave bean & cheese burritos. They can make them themselves, so we keep them on hand for days I am not up for cooking. Again save them for crash days to keep them novel and special.
Make Food Fun
Make it a living room or bedroom picnic
Have food that goes with the theme of the show
Create food themes, make a plate with only "one colour food," "all start with the letter___" or "one shaped food," crackers cheese & pickle platter, get creative.
Tea party
DYI Sundays
DYI pizzas (just use a slice of bread and sliced meat & topping and bake)
My girls are now 19 & 16 years old. This summer, Bri is working as a camp counsellor for Type 1 diabetic kids, and Peyt is pursuing her dirt biking career. They came through these challenging days pretty well. They now are utterly passionate about the movies & shows we watched and remember the hours we spent together, not the fact that they were missing out.
When you don’t have the energy to do everything you want to do with your family is difficult. Focus on what you can do and prioritize what's most important to you. Use your spoons to do what you love. You can do this. It will take some work and prep, but it can be done.
I hope this inspires you and makes things more manageable, and hopefully,
to let go of the guilt you feel.
If you try any of the suggestions, let me know.
And if you’re experiencing Post Exertional Malaise check out the free Crash Recovery cheatsheet.
