Finding Your Points of Purpose: Navigating Life Changes with ME/CFS and Long COVID
In life, our purpose acts as a compass, guiding us in the direction we want to go. Instead of having a single purpose, we aim to live with purpose, embracing the various roles and goals that evolve throughout our lives. During our school and college years, our compass may point towards learning and self-discovery. As we enter the workforce and perhaps start families, our compass shifts to building a career and nurturing relationships. Some people experience a life-altering event that dramatically changes their trajectory and purpose, although this is relatively rare, affecting about 3% of people according to Brendon Burchard.
Many of us live our lives with our compass set towards specific goals and aspirations. We wake up each day, follow the direction our compass points, go to bed, and then do it all over again the next day. However, there are times when life recalibrates our compass for us, and we find ourselves called to a particular challenge or responsibility, such as caring for an aging parent or managing a health condition.
In these moments, our purpose is not something we actively choose, but rather something that demands our focus and attention. And that's perfectly okay. Living with purpose doesn't always mean pursuing grand, overarching goals. Sometimes, it means showing up for ourselves and others in the small, everyday moments, especially when life takes an unexpected turn.
When life's events or circumstances shift your sense of purpose, especially with the challenges posed by ME/CFS and Long COVID, it's important to remember not to be too hard on yourself. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes our job is to adjust our understanding of purpose. Instead of clinging to one overarching purpose, consider breaking it down into smaller, more manageable "points of purpose" that meet you where you are in the present moment.
Points of Purpose:
'Points of purpose' are small, manageable goals or actions that align with your values and contribute to your overall sense of fulfillment and purpose in life. They are the building blocks that help you create a meaningful life, especially during times when larger goals or life purposes may feel out of reach.
Steps to Find Your Points of Purpose:
Reflect on Your Values: Consider what is truly important to you. What values do you hold dear? This could be family, friendship, kindness, creativity, or anything else that resonates with you.
Identify Small Actions: Think about small, achievable actions that align with your values. For example, if you value kindness, a point of purpose could be doing a small act of kindness each day.
Be Present: Practice mindfulness and be present in the moment. This can help you recognize opportunities for points of purpose that you might otherwise overlook.
Set Intentions: Start each day by setting an intention. This could be something like, 'Today, I will find joy in small moments,' or 'Today, I will reach out to a friend I haven't spoken to in a while.'
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate when you achieve a point of purpose. This positive reinforcement can help motivate you to continue finding and achieving points of purpose in your life.
Each day, you have the opportunity to create these points of purpose through intentional actions and choices. Decide where to focus your energy, what deserves your time, and what is truly important to you today. Strive to connect with these aspects of your life to create meaningful moments that align with your values.
For example, if you find yourself unable to engage in activities you once loved due to ME/CFS, approach your new situation with intention. Ask yourself, "How can I make this moment purposeful and connect with my values in a meaningful way?"
This could mean turning the mundane task of cleaning the kitchen into a mindful practice, where you focus on the sensations and movements, allowing your mind to find calmness in the process. It could also mean using the time to listen to a podcast or audiobook that inspires you, turning a simple chore into a learning opportunity.
Alternatively, you could use the time to reflect on the importance of a clean and organized space in promoting a healthy and peaceful living environment, connecting the task to your value of self-care and well-being. I’m inspired by the Fly Lady and look at chores I can do around my home as a way to bless my family.
Cultivating Purpose:
Remember, purpose is not a fixed entity; it's a habit that you cultivate through mindful and intentional actions. Just as you could generate motivation, focus, and confidence before your illness, you can also generate a sense of purpose now by choosing how you engage with your inner world, what you focus on in your mind, and how you express yourself to yourself.
It's important to practice self-compassion and recognize that your value is not determined by your productivity or physical abilities. In moments where your abilities are limited, you might find purpose in simply being present and embracing the opportunity to rest and heal.
You can also find purpose in the way you connect with your inner self, such as through meditation, journaling, or other forms of self-reflection. These small acts of introspection can foster a sense of self-connection and contribute to your overall sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Navigating ME/CFS:
Navigating through ME/CFS is a transformative journey that reshapes your understanding of purpose. While career and major life goals are often seen as traditional pillars of purpose, ME/CFS challenges you to explore the richness and depth of who you are as a person and find value in life's smaller moments.
This shift in perspective opens up a treasure trove of value and meaning in everyday experiences, allowing you to cultivate a sense of fulfillment that is independent of external achievements. Embracing this new approach can lead to a more balanced and enriched life, where purpose is derived from a tapestry of moments that collectively define your unique journey.
Daily Intentions and Points of Purpose:
Start small, with daily intentions and points of purpose, and let your interests guide you towards a fulfilling life.
Set Realistic Goals: Start by setting small, achievable goals for your day. This could be as simple as making your bed, writing in a journal, or sending a text to a friend.
Embrace Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness by being present in the moment. You can do this through meditation, deep breathing, or simply paying attention to your surroundings.
Connect with Others: Reach out to friends or family, even if it's just a quick message to say hello or sending a friend a meme. Social connections can provide a sense of purpose and support.
Engage in a Hobby: If you have a hobby or interest that you can still engage in, spend some time doing that. Whether it's reading, listening to music, or drawing, doing something you enjoy can be fulfilling. Think of what you love to do and lost time over between the ages of 8 -12 years old.
Practice Gratitude: Take a moment each day to reflect on something you are grateful for. This can shift your focus from what you can't do to what you can appreciate in your life.
Seek Support: Connect with support groups or communities of people who also have ME/CFS. Sharing experiences and advice can be both helpful and fulfilling.
Conclusion:
Lastly, if you ever feel a lack of fulfillment, consider journaling about your experiences. Reflecting on your feelings and actions can provide valuable insights and help you cultivate a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment in your life. If you are unable to write consider making a video diary or voice memo.
Remember, your purpose in life isn't solely about grand achievements or milestones. It's also found in the small acts of kindness, compassion, and love that you extend to others and yourself.
Finding purpose can be as simple as using your energy, or "spoons," in small yet significant ways. For instance, you might take a moment to send a thoughtful message to a friend or lend a listening ear to someone navigating similar health challenges. These small acts can create meaningful connections and foster a sense of purpose.
These small acts align with the true purpose of spreading love and kindness in the world. So, when you choose to act with kindness, compassion, and love, especially towards yourself during challenging times like dealing with ME/CFS and Long COVID, you are already aligned with your true purpose. There's no need to look any further.
Special Note for Those Struggling with Depression:
For those who are struggling with depression because of your illness, connecting with a sense of purpose can be particularly challenging. The symptoms of depression, such as feelings of hopelessness, lack of energy, and loss of interest in activities, can make it difficult to find meaning or fulfillment in life. However, it is important to remember that finding purpose is a gradual process, and even small steps can make a significant difference.
Here are some suggestions for finding purpose when dealing with depression:
Start Small: Begin with small, achievable goals that are manageable and not overwhelming. This could be as simple as getting out of bed at a certain time, taking a short walk, or calling a friend.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognize that depression can make it harder to connect with a sense of purpose. Understand that it is okay to have days where you don't feel motivated or inspired.
Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a mental health professional who can provide support and understanding. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help you feel less isolated and more connected.
Engage in Activities You Enjoy: Try to engage in activities that you used to enjoy, even if they don't bring the same level of pleasure as before. Doing something you like can provide a sense of accomplishment and purpose.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga, can help reduce symptoms of depression and create a sense of calm and focus.
Consider Professional Help: If your depression is severe or persistent, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional. Therapy and medication can be effective treatments for depression and can help you reconnect with a sense of purpose.
Remember, it is important to reach out for support and take small steps towards finding purpose. With time and the right support, it is possible to overcome the challenges posed by depression and reconnect with a sense of meaning and fulfillment in life.
By embracing the "points of purpose" approach, you can find fulfillment and meaning in the small, everyday moments, even amidst the challenges of ME/CFS and Long COVID. To further support your journey, consider joining the REST Method Beta Program. It’s for the exhausted go-getter sidelined by ME/CFS or Long Covid to help break free from the Crash Cycle & Regain Your Energy, closing on October 28th.
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